Extradited from Marlboro Country
Here I am, after lunch, on a beautiful November afternoon. I did laundry before coming in to work today, so I'm wearing fresh clean army pants & a nice lint-free black t-shirt. You know what would really hit the spot right now?
A fucking cigarette!
I haven't smoked in a dog's age. Well, if you consider about half a year a dog's age. See I had this thing where I would smoke, quit, smoke quit, ad infinitum. Not to feel too sorry for myself, but as I took on more responsibilities at my old job, I would really start puffing away. I had been smoking on & off, mostly on, since I was a kid in short pants, which may explain why my "little" brother towers over me.
My friend Erin & I had a saying we would bust out with, whenever someone said, "Hey, I thought you quit smoking." We would say, "Shit, I quit every time I put one out!"
Most recently, I had quit for over a year. Then I succumbed to temptation & bought a pack of Chesterfield Lights at the 76 station on Santa Monica & Las Palmas. They were good. Of course I couldn't stop at just one pack. But I knew my girlfriend disapproved. What to do? Well, like a fool, I thought I could play it off...you know, chewing gum & washing up with those hand towelettes? Stupid. One morning she & I ended up at the same red light on the way to work. Awkward!!!
So I quit again, then & there. And that was the last cigarette I've had the pleasure of smoking since. Now I see that the liquor store I patronize exclusively (I'm trying to get an endorsement...they already gave me a t-shirt) is selling Export A's. What are Export A's, you may ask? Well, my pink-lunged friends, they're a Canadian brand that come in a flat package, & are a bit shorter than regular American cigarettes. Are they a better smoke? Well...yeah, sure, why not. The point is, I used to smoke them when I had my first apartment. Yep, we used to fill empty can after empty can of PBR with Export A butts. Good times.
Deep down, I know it's not a good idea to deliberately inhale carbon monoxide & molten tar. But I still hold my pen like a cigarette. Deep down I know that smoking causes cancer...it's been scientifically proven to cause cancer. But I still crave a smoke after a Combo Ultimo at Acapulcos. I know that several members of my family have been directly killed by smoking. I look at their pictures on the wall at my parent's house. They're smoking in the pictures. What can you do.
A fucking cigarette!
I haven't smoked in a dog's age. Well, if you consider about half a year a dog's age. See I had this thing where I would smoke, quit, smoke quit, ad infinitum. Not to feel too sorry for myself, but as I took on more responsibilities at my old job, I would really start puffing away. I had been smoking on & off, mostly on, since I was a kid in short pants, which may explain why my "little" brother towers over me.
My friend Erin & I had a saying we would bust out with, whenever someone said, "Hey, I thought you quit smoking." We would say, "Shit, I quit every time I put one out!"
Most recently, I had quit for over a year. Then I succumbed to temptation & bought a pack of Chesterfield Lights at the 76 station on Santa Monica & Las Palmas. They were good. Of course I couldn't stop at just one pack. But I knew my girlfriend disapproved. What to do? Well, like a fool, I thought I could play it off...you know, chewing gum & washing up with those hand towelettes? Stupid. One morning she & I ended up at the same red light on the way to work. Awkward!!!
So I quit again, then & there. And that was the last cigarette I've had the pleasure of smoking since. Now I see that the liquor store I patronize exclusively (I'm trying to get an endorsement...they already gave me a t-shirt) is selling Export A's. What are Export A's, you may ask? Well, my pink-lunged friends, they're a Canadian brand that come in a flat package, & are a bit shorter than regular American cigarettes. Are they a better smoke? Well...yeah, sure, why not. The point is, I used to smoke them when I had my first apartment. Yep, we used to fill empty can after empty can of PBR with Export A butts. Good times.
Deep down, I know it's not a good idea to deliberately inhale carbon monoxide & molten tar. But I still hold my pen like a cigarette. Deep down I know that smoking causes cancer...it's been scientifically proven to cause cancer. But I still crave a smoke after a Combo Ultimo at Acapulcos. I know that several members of my family have been directly killed by smoking. I look at their pictures on the wall at my parent's house. They're smoking in the pictures. What can you do.
posted by I. P. Frehley at 3:20 PM
2 Comments:
Oh those export "a"s .
Canada the land of "no Marlboro we have export A".
Hello, Arnie. Unfortunately, I have always thought that custom cars & car culture in general are pretty stupid concepts. But thanks for your support!
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