Return of the Fly
So lately I've been looking for something to direct my mania at...you know, something to collect? I had tried dabbling in collecting comics but was a little intimidated by the sheer magnitude of the subject matter, & the assholes you invariably run into at comic book stores (it's not quite so bad at HiDeHo in Santa Monica actually, but that's a lotta gas when you drive an American-made truck). SO...I tried narrowing it down to just a few titles. Man, what a great feeling! When I dug up the individual issues of Peter Bagge's "Hate" (yep, they were at HiDeHo) that comprised the out-of-print "Fun With Buddy & Lisa" trade-paperback, it was a magical feeling. I felt like I was a lil nipper finding that last Star Wars trading card, you remember how the backs made up a big picture of Dath Vader?
Well anyways I was feeling a bit despondent. I mean, I can collect Daily Racing forms but it doesn't quite have the same pop. That's more of an intellectual pursuit. Dodger paraphernelia? Hey, I'm not made of money. Star Wars toys? Fuck no! Don't you read this blog?!
Well anyaways I was looking for some snappy new duds, since I'm officially in need of size XXL, aka 2XL, aka "big-boy" size t-shirts now, seeing how my sixe XLs are starting to look more & more like spandex on my boyish figure, & size L affords passers by a disturbing view of my navel. So what did I chance upon? A Misfits shirt. I was looking through the merchandise on their website & thinking how terrible the new incarnation is, with only one original member who's balder than me & yet still insists on trying to maintain the old devilock that I obediently mimicked in high-school. I mean, the new guitarist may have once, briefly, played for Black Flag, but that was back when I collected Star Wars cards, & having met him when I lived on top of Al's Bar, I can't recall having met a more vacuous dolt more undeserving of this kind of cult status.
So I stopped by Vinyl Fetish on Cahuenga, (no more trips to Amoeba...don't be fooled, young folk; they're wolves in sheeps clothing...the Clear Channel of record stores) & I picked up the Misfits Collection II. I was kind of annoyed when I remembered, after sticking it in the CD player, that the "Walk Among Us" tracks are actually re-RECORDED by Glenn Danzig, not re-MASTERED. And they suck. Yeah I guess there's some dispute with the original record company or the ex-members of the band...I won't bore you with the details. Well I was kinda bummed over that, I mean it had the only available CD versions of some of the tracks off of the "Beware" EP, which is cool, but now I wanna pick up "Walk Among Us". There was also something there called "The 12-inch Compilation", which it turns out I shoulda bought...
...which brings me full circle. Isn't this what I spent my allowance on when I was a snot-nosed kid? Isn't this what I obsessed over happily for years? Isn't this what brought me indescribable joy back then? It had all the key ingredients...a) it was collectable, since they were never widely distributed, b) it was music, Odin's gift to humanity, and c) the subject matter matched my personality to a T; don't you know about the Misfits? Haven't you seen Plan 9 from Outer Space?
Well here it is, then...something to quietly direct my mania towards. All those old records are on CD now. I even heard that the much-hyped "lost album", 12 Hits from Hell, is available if you know where to look. I mean, I didn't even know it existed until recently. Now I'd cross the Sahara to get my greasy mitts on it. Once again, I have something to look forward to.
Yeah, it's a shame that some idiots have to make an embarassing spectacle using the same name (just goes to prove my theory that everything is being ruined these days, be it Kojak or Star Wars), but since they have the rights to the merch, aka bad-ass shirts, I guess we'll have to peacefully co-exist. These are the moral compromises one must learn to accept in this crazy world we live in.
p.s.
If you've never listened any Misfits records& don't plan on doing so in the near future, you can always check out the B-movies that inspired them instead.
i.e.
"Beware":
Psycho
THX-1138
Hollywood Babylon
"Walk Among Us":
Plan 9 from Outer Space
Invaders from Mars
Night of the Living Dead
"Earth A.D.":
The Monster from Green Hell
Bloodfeast
Die, Die, My Darling
...any of Ed Woods' later horror movies will do in a pinch, though.
Well anyways I was feeling a bit despondent. I mean, I can collect Daily Racing forms but it doesn't quite have the same pop. That's more of an intellectual pursuit. Dodger paraphernelia? Hey, I'm not made of money. Star Wars toys? Fuck no! Don't you read this blog?!
Well anyaways I was looking for some snappy new duds, since I'm officially in need of size XXL, aka 2XL, aka "big-boy" size t-shirts now, seeing how my sixe XLs are starting to look more & more like spandex on my boyish figure, & size L affords passers by a disturbing view of my navel. So what did I chance upon? A Misfits shirt. I was looking through the merchandise on their website & thinking how terrible the new incarnation is, with only one original member who's balder than me & yet still insists on trying to maintain the old devilock that I obediently mimicked in high-school. I mean, the new guitarist may have once, briefly, played for Black Flag, but that was back when I collected Star Wars cards, & having met him when I lived on top of Al's Bar, I can't recall having met a more vacuous dolt more undeserving of this kind of cult status.
So I stopped by Vinyl Fetish on Cahuenga, (no more trips to Amoeba...don't be fooled, young folk; they're wolves in sheeps clothing...the Clear Channel of record stores) & I picked up the Misfits Collection II. I was kind of annoyed when I remembered, after sticking it in the CD player, that the "Walk Among Us" tracks are actually re-RECORDED by Glenn Danzig, not re-MASTERED. And they suck. Yeah I guess there's some dispute with the original record company or the ex-members of the band...I won't bore you with the details. Well I was kinda bummed over that, I mean it had the only available CD versions of some of the tracks off of the "Beware" EP, which is cool, but now I wanna pick up "Walk Among Us". There was also something there called "The 12-inch Compilation", which it turns out I shoulda bought...
...which brings me full circle. Isn't this what I spent my allowance on when I was a snot-nosed kid? Isn't this what I obsessed over happily for years? Isn't this what brought me indescribable joy back then? It had all the key ingredients...a) it was collectable, since they were never widely distributed, b) it was music, Odin's gift to humanity, and c) the subject matter matched my personality to a T; don't you know about the Misfits? Haven't you seen Plan 9 from Outer Space?
Well here it is, then...something to quietly direct my mania towards. All those old records are on CD now. I even heard that the much-hyped "lost album", 12 Hits from Hell, is available if you know where to look. I mean, I didn't even know it existed until recently. Now I'd cross the Sahara to get my greasy mitts on it. Once again, I have something to look forward to.
Yeah, it's a shame that some idiots have to make an embarassing spectacle using the same name (just goes to prove my theory that everything is being ruined these days, be it Kojak or Star Wars), but since they have the rights to the merch, aka bad-ass shirts, I guess we'll have to peacefully co-exist. These are the moral compromises one must learn to accept in this crazy world we live in.
p.s.
If you've never listened any Misfits records& don't plan on doing so in the near future, you can always check out the B-movies that inspired them instead.
i.e.
"Beware":
Psycho
THX-1138
Hollywood Babylon
"Walk Among Us":
Plan 9 from Outer Space
Invaders from Mars
Night of the Living Dead
"Earth A.D.":
The Monster from Green Hell
Bloodfeast
Die, Die, My Darling
...any of Ed Woods' later horror movies will do in a pinch, though.
posted by I. P. Frehley at 10:10 PM
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