TV Rots Your Brain (caution: Spoilers)
Hey...I just had this brainstorm as I'm watching the series finale of Nip/Tuck...they're about to reveal the identity of the Carver, a homicidal maniac who's been stalking the main characters on the show. They showed a commercial for the new season of The Shield, & it hit me...I really get involvedwatching these cable soap operas. No, really...I get way too into them. I'm a different person when it's The Shield season, & I can't help but watch Nip/Tuck, it's a guilty pleasure. And I even started watching repeats of that Rescue Me. Not really my cup of tea, though. Weird...they're all FX shows. Go figure. Oh yeah, but how about The Sopranos...I was reading the episode guides of the end of season 5 the online the other day. See, I asked if I could watch a UFC at my girlfriend's place (she has a more comfortable living room & a bigger TV, plus I felt sure she'd want to see the long-awaited rematch of octagon-throwbacks Ken Shamrock & Kimo Leopoldo as much as I did), & when I plugged it into her TV, for some reason all of a sudden she had like, 500 channels. So we watched The Sopranos; that's what you do when you have fancy cable. And even though I'd missed the last TWO seasons, I was right back in the thick of it. Then, one day, those cruds in Eagle Rock took away the high-end channels that we weren't supposed to be watching in the first place. And then they have the temerity to casually go out of service during a) Monday Night Football, 2) the season premiere of Lost, & d) during the Detroit game on Thanksgfuckinggiving!
What the hell was I talking about?
Oh yeah...stay outta my booze! Sorry folks, thats just a little Simpsons humor for you all. Sheesh, talk about jumping the shark, huh? Why won't they let that show die a humane death? Anyways, I just saw on FOX Sports that Damon just got traded to the Yanks. Well this is a dark day for baseball. See how they retaliate for having Nomar snatched away from their tentative grip by a free-wheeling Dodgers front office?
Whoa...they just revealed who the Carver is...or should I say, who the Carvers are? Who woulda thought that it was a secret brother-&-sister team, both of which were known characters on the show. And they would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!
Whoa...I just realized that more than half of the shows I'm talking about are on FOX. Well played, Mr. Murdoch...well played.
What the hell was I talking about?
Oh yeah...stay outta my booze! Sorry folks, thats just a little Simpsons humor for you all. Sheesh, talk about jumping the shark, huh? Why won't they let that show die a humane death? Anyways, I just saw on FOX Sports that Damon just got traded to the Yanks. Well this is a dark day for baseball. See how they retaliate for having Nomar snatched away from their tentative grip by a free-wheeling Dodgers front office?
Whoa...they just revealed who the Carver is...or should I say, who the Carvers are? Who woulda thought that it was a secret brother-&-sister team, both of which were known characters on the show. And they would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!
Whoa...I just realized that more than half of the shows I'm talking about are on FOX. Well played, Mr. Murdoch...well played.
posted by I. P. Frehley at 11:00 PM
4 Comments:
Not only were all those shows(except the Sopranos) from the Fox network, the Dodgers are also owned by Murdoch, aren't they?
And if I may say a word or two about The Shield, I love that show so much, that I actually went out and applied for:
1. the LAPD
2. the LA Unified School District PD
3. the LA County Sheriff's Department
4. the LA County Probation Department
and it should be noted that ALL of these jobs were applied for during the middle of the season of The Shield. And you know what I learned?
TV is FAKE!!! And the "professionals" who emulate fictional characters like Vic Mackey and Shane Vendrell are ASSHOLES, even more than regular cops.
I'll admit, when I was a store loss prevention guy, I tried to act tough like Vic Mackey, but I didn't openly break the rules, unlike a coworker who was a wannabe TV cop. And you know what? I caught more shoplifters in 5 months than he caught for the entire year.
So I guess my point is, this season, I will be watching The Shield with much less enthusiasm and vigor, and rather than focusing on a career in law enforcement based on my favorite TV show, I think I will focus on the entertainment industry instead.
Next stop, movie stardom.
Disconnect the cable. DO IT! Do it now!
Its much more masculine to say that your tv stops at channel 13 like normal people.
Park Ranger?! Shouldn't you be out guarding someone's picnic basket instead of blogging.
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