I write haikus instead of telling people they're full of shit

"Bullit" is better
Than "Bad Boys II", you pea-brain.
What are you smoking?!

None of us have yet
To die of Asian bird-flu;
Don't you feel stupid.

Your opinions on
What's wrong with America
Are irrelevant.

Bennifer, Tomkat,
Brangelina, Vaughnifer;
Guillotine fodder.

Listening to you
Is a Herculean task.
Must...not...kill...again.

When I said hello
I didn't think I'd have to
hear your life story.

You just spat on me
While you were blathering on,
You ignoramus.

For God's sake, people,
It's October in L.A.;
Please take off your scarves.