Thursday, November 30, 2006

Legends of the Fall

So after all that ballyhoo I ended up taking a brief respite from my ass-kickings. I hurted my poor back & was buried at work. And I had a hangnail. Actually my back really has been tender lately & was starting to bother me when someone would plant their knee on it while going for a choke. A couple months ago I was taking a nice chicken dish out of the oven & felt something twinge in a very uncomfortable way. But I tell people I hurt it cliff-diving on the Ivory Coast…sounds a little more dashing. And I really have been buried at work too. I have another assistant though, so my goal is delegate everything short of tying my shoes. I guess I’m approaching that point when you realize that while you may be reasonably skilled at what you do, the world is in no way improved by you doing it.

And once again, that time of year is upon us. Jesus died for our sins & they made a bunch of awful movies, cartoons & musicals to celebrate the salvation of mankind. The fact that Willem Dafoe can play both Jesus Christ & the Harry Osborne (aka the Green Goblin), both with considerable gusto, is testament to the fact that he is the unsung American Olivier. But I digress, faithful readers. I just wanted to brag that I won last weeks’ office football pool, thanks to me picking always-a-bridesmaid Tennessee over the sputtering Giants. This weeks’ hot picks? Arizona over St. Louis, Minnesota over Chicago & Buffalo over San Diego.

People forget that Arizona took Chicago to the edge, & have as good a chance of winning on the road as they do at home. And SF had the Rams on the ropes last week. So I think this could be Arizona’s big chance to get their 3rd win of the season over a below-.500 indoor opponent.

Minnesota is also below .500, but I like the fact that they’ve stayed on course & haven’t self-destructed in the face of adversity. I personally think that the Bears are the most overrated team in football. That record is very deceiving. Me & my girlfriend could take that schedule & go 9-2. Yeah, they beat Seattle…without Sean Alexander! Whoop-tee-fucking-do. Grossman has a bad habit of throwing off his back foot when the pressure’s on, so I predict one or two key interceptions that sway the game in favor of Minnesota.

Buffalo over San Diego?! Yep. It’s gonna be a snowy Sunday in upstate New York. I don’t think Ladanian Tomlinson will be his usual self when he has to run, block, pass & receive in weather so cold it literally freezes the snot in your nose.

So there you have it. I guess it took me a while to get interested this season, what with all the UFCs that have been on tv


Blogger Gavin Elster said...

Jesus was hated and killed and your football picks sucked. Thats the last time I bet using your blog as a guide. I thought you were supposed to be good at this betting thing.
I was wrong.

12:09 AM  

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