UFC 61, "Bitter Rivals"

So the rematch of Ken Shamrock & Tito Ortiz is coming up. Now, as we all recollect, Ortiz dominated the head of the Lions Den the first go-around, winning by TKO. Shamrock was almost unrecognizable by the end of the fight.

Ken later explained that he he had been recovering from a torn ACL up to & during the fight.

Tito went on to leave the UFC on extremely bad terms after a contract dispute with UFC president Dana White, reportedly demanding $300,000 per fight. Shamrock proceeded to KO a ketchup can from his past, Kimo Leopoldo, half a round into their much-ballyhooed rematch of a fight I watched about 10 years ago. Shortly thereafter, he flew to Japan for PRIDE 30, where long-in-the-tooth fan-favorite Kazushi Sakuraba won by KTFO in the 1st.

Ken argued the ref stoppage, saying he fell to the ground but hadn't been knocked wholly unconscious.

Then, inexplicably, he was pitted against Middleweight champion & Xyience-fueled maniac, Rich "Ace" Franklin as the basic-cable main event of "The Ultimate Fighter" Season 2. After his traditional leglock attempt, the battered, time-worn 41-year old former "King of Pancrase" slipped & fell on his after attempting, for some bizarre reason, a kick to Franklin's head. Franklin, true to form, proceeded to calmly beat Shamrocks face in, winning by TKO in the 1st.

Shamrock later claimed (ready for this?) that his cornea was scratched early in the fight.

So now, for reasons that elude me, Shamrock is rematching the Huntington Beach Bad Boy, after a mending of fences between Team Punishment & Zuffa. They were coaches of the two opposing teams on TUF 3, & made it clear to the world that they shared a deep & mutual hatred of each other, almost coming to blows. Tito is coming off of a split decision over TUF 1 winner Forrest Griffin as a warm-up for this fight. His recent record, after first facing Shamrock in '02, features a memorable KO at the hands of current champ Chuck "The Iceman" Lidell & a split decision over slumping Brazilian "Phenom", Vitor Belfort. Tito is 31 years old, a senior citizen in the NBA but entering his prime in MMA. He says his motivation for the rematch is to retire Shamrock. You have to give Tito credit for brazenly using Ken as a stepping-stone. The ongoing feud with the Lions Den camp has made for good TV & kept Tito in the spotlight. Latching on to the declining Shamrock has kept Ortiz afloat in a fickle arena that has seen fan favorites come & go faster than you can say "B.J. Penn".

As for Shamrock, he obviously wasn't paying attention when Welterweight champ Matt Hughes devoured the legandary Royce Gracie like a country breakfast. After losing to Tito again, he will have provided the win necessary to earn Ortiz another shot at the LH belt. So we'll go from Shamrock-Ortiz II to Lidell-Ortiz II. And if Tito actually uses his wrestling skills against Chuck & is able to earn a decision, that would set the stage for another monster of a rubber match on the heels of Lidell-Couture III, also happening to feature Lidell. That's a lot of the same fighters in a short time, but when they're Hall of Fame caliber fighters it isn't so bad. I just hope Ortiz remembers to thank a bruised & battered Ken Shamrock when he claims the title from Lidell.



p.s.

This fan's official prediction for Shamrock-Ortiz II is Ortiz by TKO (stoppage) in the 2nd. To be followed with Ortiz by unanimous decision in Lidell-Ortiz II.

fatty fatty 2x4

Whoa...I'm on this South Beach Diet, right? Well I was getting pretty tired of eating grilled chicken breast, diet Jell-O, & NO BEER & then, all of a sudden, while I'm looking for something to wear while I do a monster load of laundry, I discover that I can fit into my old army pants again. No, they're not from my combat tour of duty, unless you count the time I spent living upstairs from Al's Bar. They're just an old pair of fatigues that had mysteriously shrunk several waist sizes. I'm wearing these bad boys right now as I type this & watch The Ultimate Fighter marathon. Hell yeah! I should celebrate with a pizza & a pitcher but I think I'll let cooler heads prevail & enjoy a sensible dinner of chicken salad with a healthy glass of red wine. You know, the high-falutin' kind that comes out of the box.

Yeah so anyways, here's my motivation for staying on this obscene diet. Alls I gotta do is think of it as trying to make a fighting weight. These pampered Ultimate Fighters have the luxury of saunas & high-profile trainers. I'd like to see them try it my way, by not getting hammered & eating like one of the girls from Sex & The City. Actually no one wants to see that. Well, whatever it takes, right? If I can lose a little more weight maybe I'll be able to fit through the door of another jiu-jitsu place. After that, who knows? Maybe the maitre'd will stop asking for collateral before he seats me at Robin's BBQ. Now THAT would be something.









Is that how you spell maitre'd? I guess that's the wrong term for the guy who brings you a large Pabst before serving up a trash-can lid full of roasted meat.

Blah blah blah, etc

Ok, so I'm back. I read John LeCarre's "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy", "The Honourable Schoolboy", & "Smiley's People" over the course of 40 lunch-breaks & now I have nothing to read except my fishing magazines & the occasional hot rod magazine. Rat rods rule. I'm starting the South Beach Diet tomorrow, which ought to be good for laughs. I went to see Hank III (that's Hank Williams' grandson, people!) at the Anheim House of Blues last night. It was pretty crazy.

Well I was starting to feel despondent after finishing le Carre's "Smiley Trilogy" & having read every issue of Peter Bagge's "Hate", including the Hate Jamboree that pretty much wraps up the series for good. And then, just in time, I stumbled across the re-issue of the Weird-Ohs. They're these goofy models of goofy monsters driving goofy hot rods. Ought to keep me busy for a while, especially since I haven't built a model since I was a kid in short pants.

But here's the real news, & another big part of why I haven't graced the internet with my disjointed ramblings lately...I moved! I told my stinky, stuck-up, simpleton roomies to blow it out their tailpipe & hit the road. My girlfriend was nice enough to take me in while a scrounged together 1st & last, & now I'm out of Downtown & into Koreatown. I'll try to put some fotos up if I can ever figure out how to do that. It's a tiny-ass place but it feels like a penthouse, what with the windows (didn't have any of those at the old place), the fully functional bathroom (roommates tried to remodel the old bathroom & gave up halfway), the complete lack of cat, dog, & turtle droppings (use your imagination on that one). I'm not even going to touch on the interminable procession of cars & motorcycles the roomies were going to "fix up" & take to the salt-flats for a chance at the land-speed record. I have news for them & all other would-be automotive aficionados...the first step towards the land-speed record is getting the damn thing running, not carving a "gnarly-looking" headlight mount out of discarded fiberglass.

Anyways, I'm also back on the job-hunt. Had a decent interview the other day & hope to get hired somewhere before flipping out & going Kool-Aid Man at the office. I know, I know, after all that bitching I'm doing the whole thing all over again. What can I say?